Danger! Danger! High Voltage! It’s Part 2 of Weasel’s Clubbing Guide for the Royal Bank Hol!

See below for Part 2 of our double bubble bank hol clubbing guide, this will help you sort the wheat from the chaff (or the sickness from the shitness) and you’ll be fully equipped to select the best the capital has to offer in nightouts out (and boy are there plenty!) next week we have no doubt you will be feeling how shall we say… A little on the rough side so we will be soothing your poor little heads with some funny links, podcasts and possibly some photos of fluffy animals or summink.  We’ll also be providing you with a to do list of how to cope with a week at work after 2 4 day weekends out on the lash, getting trashed, not sleeping, not eating and generally being the filthy rave pigs that I know you all are. In the meantime to get you in the MOOD for the impending weekened (arrghhh! ‘siting!!!) here are a few jolly wolly podcasts you can listen to whilst getting ready to go out:

2011 Spring Mix by Ran-dolph

Jnr J presents Elijah Collins mixtape apr2011 by ElijahCollins

Latest tracks by Suara




photo by: icanteachyouhowtodoit


  1. 5 YEARS OF LEFTROOM SETH TROXLER, MAYA JANE COLES, MATT TOLFREY: Thursday night’s bank hol celebrations kick off with an almighty bang courtesy of Matt Tolfrey’s Leftroom label.  Celebrating 5 years since the label was founded (not to be sniffed at in today’s current climate) tonight they’ll be pulling together the labels extended family for a VERY special celebration. From its beginnings in Nottingham in 2005, with its Berlin style blips and beeps and then organically moving towards a more UK centered tech house sound. Leftroom is an example of how staying true to your core values leads to success. The imprint’s penchant for bouncy, wobbling machine funk flows through the core of every release… Tonight will showcase all this and more.
  2. ELECTRIC ELEPHANT LONDON LAUNCH AT THE STAR OF KINGS: Upstairs – One record Deck, a comfy armchair, no headphones, with selectors: The Unabombers.. Horse Meat Disco’s Severino… Luke Solomon.. Dom Servini… Balearic Mike… The Basement Takeover with: Bad Passion… Smooth Sailing Crew.  I cannot see a reason not to attend this night thus far! The Bombers bring you “taster” night of what’s to come from their hugely popular Croatian Festival of the same name this summer.  The boys say “Contrary to popular belief we will not be hosting the reception rave at Willies & Katies royal wedding, although we will be arriving in a horse drawn carriage”.  I cannot confirm this is true but I really do hope so.. Expect house, disco, soul, hip hop and lots more.
  3. CLR AT MINISTRY OF SOUND: Not really known for its techno nights (understatement!) Ministry of Sound brings you anight courtesy of label CLR, who has seen acts such as acts like Adam Beyer, Speedy J, Marcel Dettmann, Ben Klock, Green Velvet & Surgeon contributing to the catalogue of their imprint. Tonight guarantees to be a “techno fest par excellence” with the driving forces of British and German techno in sync live & direct… Ministry is an amazing space unseen by many a techno head and the lure of  names such as Chris Liebing, Mark Broom, Gary Beck, Jerome Sydenham, James Ruskin, Monoloc, Brian Sanhaji and rising star Tommy Four Seven will surely be too tempting to pass off.
  4. TECHNO THERAPY RECORDS PRESENTS – PIG AND DAN: Taking advantage of the extra day off work courtesy of the Royal Wedding, Techno Therapy throw the 2nd of their 12 hour warehouse bashes over in Shoreditch town.  This time round headlining the underground shenanigans will be none other than Cocoon recording’s Pig and Dan.  This is the duo’s 1st London gig of 2011 and with a busy studio schedule ahead of them its looks like it will possibly be their only in the capital this year.. In other words – be there!  Also headlining will be London leg-end and electronic chameleon Justin Robertson. And in true Techno Therapy style, they have at the eleventh hour, decided to throw two stunning additions to the line up in Allez-Allez and warehouse maestros Dollop.  One not to be missed!
  5. FWD>> PLASTIC PEOPLE London’s legendary dubstep and bass night, FWD>>, returns to East London’s Plastic People tonight.  Those PP regulars will know to expect nothing less than 1 of the best soundsystems in London and then some.  Here in the dimly lit space (its small but beautifully formed!) people come not to pose but to dance to the music they genuinely love, not just because its some passing East End fad. Tonight will bring  just one guest DJ – and one of the loveliest men in dubstep: Plastician. He’ll be wobbling and rattling his way through the bangers, and I’m 100% sure the crowd with be brockin’ out and getting sweaty until close.

Other cracking nights tonight: The Royal We with Clive Henry at Plan BGouranga Dance Show Ft Max Cooper & Russ Yallop at TBA /  Paul Kalkbrenner Fabric /  Prince William’s Supercool Stag Do at The Horse & Groom /   Pump Up The Volume at XOYO, Get Down or Die Rhythm Factory  /  Vikings – The Russian bar


  1. QUANTIZE: ROYAL WEDDING 15 HOUR DAY & NIGHT TOILET RAVE AT PUBLIC LIFE: Hmmmm.. Not much needs to be said with this particular event – the title says it all!  Its a Rave.  A 15 hour Rave.  A 15 hour Royal Wedding Rave.. In a renovated Victorian toilet in the East End. I’m VERY sure the royal couple will be in full support of this and very honoured to have the Royal Wedding stamp all over it.  In fact if their weren’t getting spliced in the day and having their boring old party over at Buck Pal I’m sure they’d be down at Public Life gettingn sweaty and mash up to the delights of  Chris Finke, Rebekah, Chris Stanford, Dario Burelli, XI, Tred Benedict, Colin John, Ran Dolph and Mr. F.. *deep breath* Aaand… if this wasn’t enough there are rumours abound on the net as to whom the promised “special guest” will be *squeal*.. Oh just get down there for god’s sake!
  2. JAUNT> & PLEASURE – SECRET LOFT PARTY WITH FRANCK ROGER AT TBA – EAST LONDON: Shhhh! Its a secret! A secret loft party! Keeping the Shoreditch location very much underwraps until the bitter, this is quite obviously set to be a road block event. French House Music DJ, producer and devoted crate digger Franck Roger headlines for Newcastle’s Jaunt and Leeds’ Pleasure Centre. For location details email: JAUNTEVENTS@HOTMAIL.CO.UK
  3. THE ROYAL WEEKENDER PRESENTS: RAY KEITH AT CAFE 1001: Part 1 of Cafe 1001′s Royal Weekender event, the festivities  will be running from Friday’s event allllllll the way through until Monday 2nd May (no really – I do pity the venue staff!).  Who better to kicks things off than one of the true originators of the drum & Bass scene RAY KEITH… Big up ya ches’ yes yes!!
  4. EGG ROYALE@EGG: Probably one of the 1st to announce their epic day and night Royal Wedding alternative celebration (rather than jumping on the bandwagon),  the daytime will be hosted by Deep House masters MUAK with Jimi Mistry and in the night time the decks will get a sniff of royalty in the form of his royal highness Norman “MBE” Jay.  Alongside Norman will be Danny Rampling, Sancho Panza Sound System, Faith, The Sharp Boyz and Vegas Baby… *phew* with this monster of a line up you can expect music across the board and then some… Brilliant.
  5. SanchoPanza Presents Royal Flush Notting Hill Carnival favourites SanchoPanza climb aboard the Dutch Master, and sail down the Thames for a royal wedding-themed boat rave down the Thames.  Alongside their fave residents will be (rather excitingly) the Crazy P Soundsystem, all this on a Funktion 1 rig! WTF! Expect plenty of deep house, funk and disco and the usual amazing crowd at these shindigs.

Other cracking nights on Friday: The Block Party with Massimo Di Lena, HectorBoris Horel & Many More at Cargo /  Planet Mu Showcase: Part One, /  Colony vs Perc Trax at Corsica Studios /  The Royal Worming /   Real Roots Reggae Raggastep at 3 Blind Mice /   life After Youth /   Playaz at fabric /  Tape Royal feat Visionare Pop Up Cinema at TBA – East London /  Mixcloud present Chrissy Murderbot

photos by: icanteachyouhowtodoit


  1. MUAK: WAREHOUSE PROJECT#2: CHARLES WEBSTER & ANDRE LODEMANN AT 82 GREAT EASTERN ST: Deep house kings MUAK return with part 2 deux of their warehouse project.  Last months was a sell out event and with Miso Records  Charles Webster, Andre Lodemann (Best Works) on the headlining list this time round this one is set to be much the same.  Held in an intimate warehouse/studio space in Shoreditch, they will be taking you through the old and new school realms of house music, deep techno and electronic soul… Alongside Charles and Andre will be MUAK residents Zaki and Manish + Ryan Bliss, Deporto and more.  Sounds courtesy of a thumping Funktion 1 soundsystem + the famously happy go lucky MUAK crowd in attendance.. I can’t think of a better way to spend a Saturday bank hol eve..
  2. SEVERINO AND FRIENDS VS BEAST AT DALSTON SUPERSTORE: Growwwwwwwwwwwwlll! Welcome to the jungle! Eat or be eaten! Severino and friends and beast are proud to present the party of all parties… Our favorite Globe trotting dj is teaming up with the force of nature that is Beast and together they will be bringing down to Dalston a unique selection of djs from all over the world!  Living legend Rob Mello hosts downstairs  with the man himself  taking you on a deeper darker and sexier journey into dance music Chicago House,Acid, techno, hous and , minimal.  Upstairs in the bar Dj Jim Stanton (Horsemeatdisco), Dj Borja Pena, (Beast, DFB) + more. sexy beats, sexy Beasts and finger licking music. Expect b sides, remixes and rarities you will never listen to.
  3. EGG BIRTHDAY – A SWINGING 60’S REVIVAL AT EGG: Always one for the diary this one! Known for amazing line ups, gobsmacking performers, crazy themes and opulent decor across the venue. This time round its a swinging 60’s theme, a period when people really knew how to throw a proper wild party, so its time to get your groove on and head down to York Way!  EGG will be transforming their home into a psychedelic world of vivid colours, unforgettable fashion, retro styles, flower power and more evoking the spirit of this exciting, revolutionary, liberating cultural and social time. With global main room veteran Smokin’ Jo presenting her new live project, The Beep, plus Boy George also manning the decks alongside a phalanx of Egg residents… Groovy.
  4. ONEMORE WAREHOUSE – LUCIO AQUILINA & ARNOUD LE TEXIER AT TBA – EAST LONDON: Now celebrating their half year Anniversary (doesn’t time fly!) The “One More” guys will be using this as a very much un-needed excuse to throw yet another party.  Returning to the decks after gracing them for the 1st party back in November will be international resident, LUCIO AQUILINA (Cocoon) together with ARNOUD LE TEXIER all this + residents Antonio De Angelis aka Toni D and Outart.
  5. CARGO PRESENTS KEVIN GRIFFITHS AT CARGO: Deep house maetro and Tsuba records boss Kevin Griffiths will be gracing the main arch of Cargo this Saturday for a special 3 hour set… Also helping the room get into a sweaty frenzy will be Cargo ressie Nick Pryce… Not to be missed!

Other cracking nights on Saturday: Dope Disco presents Instigate with Rossko & Tim Underbelly at Bar A Bar /   Kai-Zen with Deepgroove at Public Life /    It’s A Family Affair /  Cartulis Day at Cafe 1001 /  Republic Artists feat JB at Nomad London /  Gutterslut at East Bloc


photos by: icanteachyouhowtodoit


  1. WETYOURSELF BANK HOLIDAY SPECIAL: Mayday Sunday.. Wetyourself at Fabric – the words go hand in hand like salt and pepper, sugar and spice and Hawtin and techno.  Personally last years was one of my seminal moments in clubbing in the last 5 or so years, no exaggeration.  Astmosphere, music, venue, sound, lights (argh!!! That big flood light in the main room that makes me weak at the knees) and crowd all get 10/10 top marks and a smiley face in their homework books.  Cannot recommend enough!  This year they are again joined by Caroline Hervé aka Miss Kittin also appearing will be WYS! Residents Cormac, Jacob husley & Peter Pixzel in the main room.  Over in Room 2 sees Stephan Bodzin Vs Marc Romboy *excited* support comes in the form of CLRS’ Perc, Turbos’ Sei A, and passionate London up-comer Gareth Wild. If this wasn’t enough Room 3: sees Antony Difrancesco, Rossko, Ryan Stylus, Colette Delalez & Harry Finn. Harry McCanna & Jay Duggan. Visuals on the night are provided by the annoyingly multi-talented (only kidding Shaun) PRICKIMAGE…
  2. SPILT MILK DAYTIME TERRACE PARTY WITH LAYO & BUSHWACKA AT PAPERMILL: This is set to be an absolute BEAUT of an afternoon! Spilt Milk  returns to the terrace for its second year of parties in the sun (please god let there be sun!). Opening their season will be one of the most respected and talented double acts in the industry.. Layo and Bushwacka!!! The guys played for the Spilt Milk guys last year and obviously once wasn’t enough, so they are back to induce some more aural beatings to the no doubt packed terrace.. All this alongside Leftroom’s MARC ASHKEN, KRANKBROTHERS, Spilt Milk’s  head honcho TRED BENEDICT and resident CHEROKEE. Spilt Milk residents
  3. SHAKE IT PRESENTS SCI TEC FEATURING DUBFIRE AND CARLO LIO AT VILLAGE UNDERGROUND: A message from the guys themselves “A technical detail with regard to our application for an extension on the Village Underground license denied us a Temporary Events License for Sunday May 1st, so we could cancel the party which seems a great shame and Dubfire really wants to play London… so we racked our brains and thought let’s make it a free party, yes, free!!! So starting at 8pm and running till 4am… for one night only… SCI+TEC PRESENTS A VERY SPECIAL FREE PARTY with DUBFIRE, CARLO LIO and RAYMUNDO (Jaded)” I really am not commenting anymore than that as you’d be fucking LOONY not to take up this offer!! Small suggestion: Camp outside a la Harrods Jan sale TODAY if I was you though – its gonna be rammo!!
  4. SOS PRESENTS GOD SAVE OUR SCENE: Where do we start? SOS is putting on a sexy and flamboyant one-off to end Egg’s 8th birthday weekend celebrations, all done with the brazen intent of ‘creating a bash that will put the Royal couple’s wedding reception to shame’.  Expect fashion shows from Studio 805, installations and performances and DJ wise will be electro-smashers Punks Jump Up, Southern Fried’s Kris Di Angelis, World Unknown host Andy Blake and many more in the house, aand the incomparable Jodie Harsh to boot.
  5. 10 YEARS OF SECRETSUNDAZE – OPENING PARTY AT THE HOUSE CLUB & TERRACE: The very mention of this event makes you realise one thing.. Summer is on its way!! Hurrah hurrah hurrah! The Sundaze guys seem to have had a bit of bad luck with regard to venues in the last year and were again let down this time round at the last min. All this aside they will be holding their 10 year celebrations at Greenwich’s The House and Terrace.  I attended one there a few years back with a big bunch of pals and had a great time.. The strict door whore stopped the  South East London n’er do wells getting in (a few “locals” appeared in the later part of the eve but nothing major) and in the day the outside terrace invoked all those old emotions from the early SS parties, lots of familiar SS faces, the standard “fuck off” sized mirror ball and some VERY cool pink lights that came on at dusk (i’m a girl.. OK!). I’m sure this one will be no different and the guys haven’t advertised this party other than through the SS channels to keep the crowd the way you like it. Kyle Hall (Wild Oats / FXHE), Sven Weisemann (Mojuba), Giles Smith (secretsundaze / Two Armadillos), James Priestley (secretsundaze / Simple / The CAMP) bring the noise.

Other cracking nights on Sunday: Mixmag: Day and Night feat Radio Slave & Nina Kraviz at TBA – East London /  Data Transmission presents / 2020 Vision 12hr Warehouse Party feat Ewan Pearson, Maya Jane Coles, Mark E, Simon Baker + More at Village Underground /  Bread & Butter All Day Bank Holiday Special with Marcel Fengler at The CAMP (City Arts & Music Project)Supercool with Just Jack DJs & Scott Martin at Public Life /  Kubicle @ Metropolis /  Creche Bank Holiday Special All Day Roof Party with Tom Demac & Jay Shepheard at Queen of Hoxton /  Connected At Cable at Cable LondonThe Nest May Day – Hypercolour Showcase at The Nest


photos by: icanteachyouhowtodoit


  1. JADED BANK HOLIDAY MONDAY WITH DANIEL DREIER AT CABLE LONDON: The 2nd part of their bank holiday Monday celebrations (Sunday’s are soooo 2 weeks ago dahling!) this time round they are joined by Bar25’s Daniel Dreier as well as resident Raymundo Rodriguez, Split Milk’s Tred Benedict and in the Balcony Room Kozber (Brickbeat) + More TBA.  Don’t forget at Jaded they believe that sleep is for the week!
  2. KUBICLE BANK HOLIDAY MONDAY IN THE TOILET: Following on from their big sheboogle over at Metropolis on Sunday night (see Sunday’s listings)  Kubicle are back where they belong… In the toilet! (Public Life that is) Join them for part 2 of their mega bank hol celebrations with Hot Natured’s Lee Foss, Richy Ahmed, Toni D & FB Julian.  There is the promise of a few special guests too. Lucky for you guys there is no work today but I’d be getting those excuses ready for the inevitable skive off phone call to the office in the morn! For guestlist send names to lizmendez1@me.com